Hell Hath No Fury Like An Unheard Child!

Remember when you were small and you did not get what you wanted or needed? Didn't you just scream you ass off. Didn't you just yell and scream and tantrum and make life quite miserable? Until your mom finally came down on her knees and gently wiped the tears from your face and finally listened to you. Finally asked quietly what it is that you wanted. Well that child within you today as an adult is still screaming and carrying on if you do not give it what it needs and wants. Things like proper rest, proper financial management, proper friendships.... generally a safe and clear life. If you abandon yourself by not caring for your inner core child, it will run your life and eventually ruin your life. Take care of self and if the child within is yelling... stop everything... close your eyes, and ask yourself gently what is going on and what the child needs. Soon it will quiet down and it will give you an answer that will inevitable lead you back to your adult.

transformation requires deep looking within self

Remember that you are your own expert... you can look to others for the magic bullet answers and you can seek outside yourself for the key but ultimately it is only you that can take the transformational steps required to get you to your new state. You have all your own answers through your own intuition. Look within. Staying true to you is a challenge especially when others may be trying to convince you of their point of view. Beware of conversations that occur with people who have an agenda for you to go down their way of thinking. Check in deeply with yourself first before any action. It is powerful to know that you have arrived at a new place through your own effort and decisions. You get to take all of the credit and all of the satisfaction. Also on the other hand all of the consequences are yours too. It is worth it in my opinion. The ultimate power is full on personal responsibility for your own life.

It's all about letting go.

Basically if you are holding on tight, don't. When you hold on tight you are in effect signaling to the Universe that you don't trust the process of life. That, in effect sends you down a spiraling cycle of control and distrust. I'm talking about holding on tight to anything. Good or bad. If you are holding on to something good because you are afraid to be with out it, you are saying "I don't trust that there is enough goodness to go around. I need to hold on, only to this." This sets up a strong poverty consciousness of not enough-ness. And then what the Universe is going to give back to you is just that-- Not enough-ness.

What is so important to know is that if something you love is leaving you, there is probably something even better coming to you. Life takes care of us even when it may not seem that way.

Be the floating cork in the ocean. Go with life's up and downs, ebbs and flows and know that without even trying you will float. It is safe to relax and trust life because no matter what is happening to you, it is all good. Even if it does not feel good-- it is. It's growth therefore it is good.

Another law of the Universe to remember is that nature abhors a void. When you let go, you create a space, a void. That void needs to be filled with something. And it will get filled. So trust that. You are safe. Life is safe.

It is safe to trust in the process of life.

Say that often and you will feel that as a truth inside you.

Acceptance is the key.

So many times we encounter experiences in our lives that are not what we envisioned for our lives. I'm talking about those things or events that knock us for a loop, take us by surprise, or take over in a way that is completely not in our control. I am talking about things like illness, infertility, loss of a loved one, being cheated on. These kinds of things, can make one feel like life is punishing or judging us, sending one in to a frenzy of "Why Me??" and "What have I done to deserve this?" or "LIfe is so unfair?". There is a deep temptation to feel like a victim and that there is some ominous punishing plan out there that one is just the victim of.

Let us not kid ourselves, these thing are initially horrifying and we need to go through the proper grief period. And frankly there is no way around the mountain of pain. You need to first feel it in order to move past it. And do take your time with that crucial process. But it does not need to take you down. And getting support through this period is essential. Truly, as I see it, if life were about fairness as opposed to lessons and growth, then all the good people would be rich and all the bad people would be poor. This is simply not the case. Instead, those who focus on wealth become wealthy and those who focus on poverty don't. And then some folks just came into life inheriting money. Life just brings us what we put out and then added to that, there is that other mysterious element that is brought to our life. That is what we are here to accomplish. What we were born to do in this life time that we, pre-birth, agreed to in order to maximize our journey. I believe we agreed to every obstacle and every event in our life. I believe that we even agreed to whom our parents would be. Then once born we are in charge of how we react to life's events.

So, acceptance is what is left for us to do since we are not in control of everything. Remember life is co-creative not just creative. We are responsible for what we put out and what we think and how we react to the events, but the Universe has also got a hand in delivering to us what we have pre-birth agreed to have in our life. And since there is a vail of amnesia hiding that aspect of our journey, we don't necessarily remember that which we agreed to. We don't recall consciously those growth opportunity obstacles that we agreed to allow into our life. Meditation and introspection will help you remember some of the pre-birth agreements. I invite you to find out through introspection, what your pre-birth agreements are. Get a sense of what you agreed to bring into this lifetime in order for you to grow and improve as a soul. I also encourage you to ask what the unexpected event in this lifetime is doing for you? What are you learning from the experience? For example in the case of illness, ask yourself, "How is this illness benefiting me? What is it teaching me? What can I learn about myself from this illness that I would not otherwise have learned?"

Engaging in this type of dialogue with self will assist you to feel empowered again in the face of these sometimes terrifying unexpected events. You will begin to override the victim feeling through this process. Stay focused, stay positive and stay self loving.

Blessings, Victoria

Take Personal responsibility for your self!

The most important tool one can use in order to engage with life productively is to take personal responsibility for everything that is going on in one's life. You are not a victim of your life. Period. You are a co-creator of your life through your thoughts and your choices. We are working in tandem with the Universe to co create life. This is intertwined with one's Karma as well. Pay close attention to all your thoughts and choices. Especially the repetitive choices that you make. For example constantly taking stuff on that is not yours like other people's expectations, or other peoples values or other peoples put downs. These will certainly cause one to have a compromised self esteem as opposed to feeling empowered and energized.

Life is a mirror remember. This mirror is there for us to notice and to realize what we are creating and what we are responsible for in our life.

Also, it is important to remember that even though we are responsible for what goes on in our life, it is also true that we are not to blame. Blame and responsibility are on opposite ends of a spectrum. So it is not about self punishment when we discover that we have created something in our life from our thoughts. That is counter productive and will land us in a worse situation. It is about getting aware and getting focused on that which is our responsibility so that we can go about the business of change. Awareness is first then willingness , then courage, then repetition. Take responsibility and watch the miracles of life occur.

What we focus on expands.....

One of the laws of the universe is a simple one that is easy to remember. What we focus on expands. If we focus on the negative including fear this will expand and become that which will attract to ourselves more readily. Same goes for the positive stuff. If we see the lessons in the turmoil versus "life is always trying to shit on me" in the problem, we are more likely to reap the rewards of life. But once again the theme here is "Get in the moment and step out of being so unconscious in your life." Wake up and understand that you are contstantly co-creating with the universe. You are not a victim of life. You are a key piece in life. We are not in charge of the timing of when things occur, that is the universe's job to coordinate it all. Our job is to get clear about what our thoughts are and thus what we are attracting to us. We are also in charge of deciding what we want in life. But again not when that thing comes to us. Get clear, get in the now and focus on that. Because you know....What we focus on expands. :):)

Listen to your body it is having a dialogue with you...

When your body starts to talk with you, it does so in the form of symptoms. Usually the dialogue begins in whispers but if you do not pay attention it begins to yell really loudly so that it can be heard. And it doesn't do to ignore it. Just think about what happens to a tantrumous child that is locked in his or her room. They usually yell louder and louder until you finally give in and listen to what the child is saying ..That is your body. The theme here is get in the moment and pay attention to what your body is saying.

It's all about change.........

I really know and believe that everything that is going on, on the emotional realm is impacting everything that is going on in every other one of our realms. What we think is impacting what is happening in our bodies, our minds, our relationships and our entire environment. If we want change to occur we need to go at it from a very holistic perspective. Go at it from all angles.

Change requires consistency and courage and of course awareness.

"Thoughtus Interuptus" no not coitus interuptus!! This is technique that I encourage clients often to do. It is about really getting in the moment and noticing thoughts and patterns that are detrimental to one's self and one's relationships and that ultimately are no longer rally working for us. The behaviour pattern may have served you in childhood but not as an adult. For example the pattern may be withdrawing without warning, or lashing out, people pleasing, etc.. Which then sabotages a relationship and ultimately oneself.
With this tool you get in the moment and you notice your feeling and auto pilot thoughts. And then you go about replacing it consciously with another more serving thought and pattern.

No it's not easy. But it works. Get in the moment and realize what is not serving you. Then repetitively replace it with what is working or you. Blessings. www.visualizationworks.com